Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this cock tucking man wife?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I am a gay male and have been with my husband for many years now, married six of them. Every time an issue comes up, whether it’s the landlord knocking on the door or someone else, he comes running to me to deal with it and I am fed up with it.  I deal with paying all the bills each month. I work full time just like my husband, and I have told him numerous times to be a man and start dealing with it, as I want a husband, not a wife. But he doesn’t listen. It’s exhausting. What can I do? – TIRED HUSBAND

DEAR TIRED HUSBAND: I assumed since you rump wranglers can legally marry you would have figured out the whole queer protocol husband and wife thing. If it isn’t he cooks and you suck, or he pays the mortgage and you take it up the dookey shoot, then you two quifs need to define your roles and stick to them. If you want a husband then you need to be more wife-like, so start complaining, spending too much, overcooking the soy pot roast, inviting you mother over, and get headaches prior to jumping into your man bed. As to the landlord, just leave a note on the door, “Enter from Rear!”  Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com