Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this dateless planner?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I have been married for 17 years to a good man with many great attributes. However, our relationship lacks connection. Every effort at emotional connection is initiated by me (like planning date nights or going out for a walk to have a conversation). I have told him many times I need him to make an effort to initiate. He always agrees, but never follows through. I have now stopped planning date nights and told him that we won't be going on a date unless he schedules and plans it. (I do not require anything elaborate -- a walk or a simple coffee would suffice.) That was two months ago, and he has made zero effort. I am lonely and at a loss. What should I do? I have clearly communicated my needs and what I expect from him, and he doesn't seem to care, so I'm not sure where to go from here. -- LONELY IN MINNESOTA

DEAR LONELY IN MINNESOTA: 17 years in and you don’t know that the only “emotional connections” most men are interested in are 1) sex, 2) food, and 3) freedom?  Men don’t like conversations with their wives, especially if it involves a trip to an overpriced café where some tattooed half-fag barista spews Italian words for milk, sugar and coffee.  As to men making plans, if they don’t include booze, golf, guns, or sports, a husband’s brain shuts down like a housewife trying to park a car.  So why don’t you stop hoping for change and let your “good man with many great attributes” know that his newfound freedom (#3) is all over and that you are once again going to start planning date nights.  Just be sure to mention the three Bs: beef, booze and beaver. . Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com