Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this dogged woman hater?

DEAR MIKE CARES: What is this thing about dogs? I see women on dating sites saying, "You must love my dog," and I find it really annoying. I know some women adore their dogs, but demanding that a man should love your dog if he really cares about you is insane. What's the matter with these women? I think they're emotionally unbalanced. -- IRRITATED IN GEORGIA

DEAR IRRITATED IN GEORGIA: You are making a statement that women are emotionally unbalanced, I find that unfounded and offensive.  I’m just kidding, of course broads are emotionally unbalanced. If you want to lock crotches with any of these App-Happy Clit-Wits the answer is YES to loving their dogs, cats, roommates, friends, parents and neighbors. It's a big YES to all of them. You can handle this properly now, or handle your own dick until you too become emotionally unbalanced. Oh, and, be advised, if you pick up a jar of peanut butter and their dog goes bat-shit crazy, trust me, you'll always be #2 ! Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com