Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this gash slinging cock worshiper?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I'm a woman in my early 20s, and I have been dating my man for two years. I love him dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He plans to propose before the end of the year, and we plan to be married next year.

Sex with him is fabulous. However, I have a very active libido (probably similar to that of a teenage boy), and I'd be good with having sex every morning, day and night. He, on the other hand, is good with once a week, if that. I feel deprived and sad. We have discussed this, and he claims he knows he needs to improve, but there has been no change.

I don't know if I want to say "I do" if this is what marriage to him will be like. I am afraid of him proposing now because I'm not sure I can marry him if he's not into sex as much as I am. Sex is an extremely important activity in my life. I had amazing sex with a previous boyfriend and have actually contemplated reaching out to him. (I wouldn't cheat.)

Must I settle? I don't want to miss out on having sex as often as I want it. It doesn't feel fair to me. I don't want to end the relationship because he's everything else I want. He's a good man, loving, generous, kind, thoughtful, funny, intelligent, a great conversationalist, fun, adventurous, but with almost no sex drive. Can you offer any insight? -- MISERABLE IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR MISERABLE IN MISSISSIPPI:  I wouldn’t bail on Mr. Softee so fast, you see you’ll always be a hump happy nympho, so no matter who you settle down with won’t change the fact that you will spend most of your days and nights filling your windsock of a twat with cocks from all walks of life. I say settle down with Mr. Not-Quite-Right, he’s the perfect man for you and in ten years he probably won’t even notice that your vagina will look like the gizzard on a twenty-year-old turkey. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com