Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this madame ovary?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I am a 37-year-old woman with a very supportive husband. I love him dearly, but I have some concerns. We have no children although we tried for years. Then I found out I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). I can still have a child, but now, because of my age, a bad back and a bad knee, I have kind of given up. My husband and I are overweight, though I am trying to lose weight. It's hard. I also suffer from depression. Am I doing the right thing by giving up and putting myself first? -- STRUGGLING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STRUGGLING IN CALIFORNIA: The good news is you are not old, the bad news is you’re just a fat, depressed, whiner with a bad back, bad knee, and defective pussy plumbing. As long your supportive husband doesn’t mind, I think you should do the world a favor by giving up, locking those legs together until what’s left of your ovaries are dried up, thus effectively shuddering your dilapidated baby factory, while allowing you and your husband to get on with your miserable and childless lives. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com