Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this reluctant beaver sharer?

DEAR ABBY: I'm in an open relationship with my partner. We both enjoy hooking up with other people, but only if we agree on the person. It was going great; I still got my one-on-one time with my partner. But now it seems that instead of making love with just me, the only time he wants to touch me is if someone else comes over. What's the best way to approach him about it? Should I suggest we stop inviting people over for that type of fun? -- ADVENTUROUS LADY

DEAR ADVENTUROUS LADY: You and your open (legs) lifestyle has created an untamed dick wielding monster who is probably so used to banging other sluts like yourself that he can’t even get Mr. Johnson to pay attention unless watching you pull a train like a 1970s Hell’s Angels biker babe wannabe. While you wait around for this guy to stop bringing studs and sluts into your life and to get on one knee to ask for your hand in marriage you may want to get that grizzled lap flounder of yours tested for STDs and find a wholesale penicillin dealer. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com