Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this service seeking silly Sally?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I was invited to my niece's wedding, and we immediately RSVP'd "yes." I was also invited by her sister to her bridal shower and responded affirmatively. I have a service dog I take with me everywhere. I advised both parties that I was bringing him. The sister told me I was uninvited or could leave my service dog outside on the porch. Now, a month later, three months after saying yes to the wedding, I am being told I'm uninvited to the wedding because of my service dog. Am I expected to still give a wedding gift? I had planned to give my niece my sterling silver dinner set. What do I do now? -- GOING, NOT GOING, IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GOING, NOT GOING, IN ILLINOIS: Most people who actually need service animals let people know why. You didn’t, so I’m calling bullshit (or dogshit) on your need for a service dog, and I bet everyone in your family agrees too! I bet you bought a Service Dog vest on Amazon and parade around anywhere you and your “Fluffy Handicapped Sticker” would normally not be allowed. Your poor dog probably feels like a fake veteran in a uniform seeking “thank you for your service” comments. Why don’t you stop the nonsense and just leave the mongrel at home. As to the “Sterling Silver Dinner Set,” well, I think we all know that will likely be silver plated flatware from Target all dressed up in a Tiffany Box. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com